Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and I understand others struggle far longer than we did with infertility. I’m just sharing my experience 🙂

After announcing that I was pregnant with twins, everyone’s favorite question was “do twins run in your family?” Our short answer was always “not really” and it was true. While there are some sets of twins on my side of the family, there were none that would be hereditary.

Our journey actually started in March of 2018. I visited my doctor after having irregular menstrual cycles (4 over the course of 12 months to be exact). I knew that our wedding was just 6 short months away and that Ryan and I would want to start our family soon after getting married.

My doctor ran some blood tests to check hormone levels and everything came back normal. After months of still experiencing irregular cycles, I made another appointment in November. This time, I was referred to reproductive medicine. In December I visited the clinic where more blood tests were done and also an ultrasound to check out my ovaries.

As it turns out, I have polycystic ovaries. As I understand it, this is different from polycystic ovarian syndrome. My ovaries have an increased number of follicles which doesn’t allow room for an egg to grow and be released. The doctor at the clinic went over my options with me. There were multiple steps that I could have taken but, I decided to start by just taking a medication. I came to this decision because a) it was the cheapest option and b) we went in a huge rush to get pregnant, we understood that these things take time.

So, on day 5 of my January cycle, I started taking 5 mg of letrozole, a drug that was intended to make me ovulate. I took the medication for five days, then I started testing with an ovulation predictor kit (opk) and waited to reach “peak” ovulation before we did the “deed”. We were going away to Montreal for my birthday right around the same time I should have ovulated. How special would it have been to conceive in a hotel in Montreal? Unfortunately, the dose of letrozole was too low and I started spotting immediately after finishing the 5 days.

In February we started living with Ryan’s parents while his moms battle with cancer worsened. I had asked Ryan if he even wanted to go through the process that month since it was such a stressful time for all. He told me that he still wanted to try, I think he just wanted something to look forward to.

I started taking letrozole again, this time 7.5mg. I did the opk, we did what we had to do, then waited until I could take a pregnancy test. On March 14, I woke up early in the morning and peed on a stick. It was positive! Later that day I went to the clinic for blood work to test my progesterone and beta HCG levels. They confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. We were so excited to tell our families.

I went back two days later for the same tests and although my levels were increasing, not at the rate they should have been. We repeated this process for a total of 6 blood tests. My levels started decreasing and my doctor confirmed that I had a biochemical pregnancy, an early miscarriage.

We wanted to try again as soon as we could. Our family had already experienced enough heartbreak. We needed something positive, something to look forward to. I took the letrozole, did the opk, then we waited. I didn’t have any symptoms and felt discouraged that it wasn’t going to happen that month but I took a test anyway.

Much to my surprise, the test was positive, again! And then blood tests started again. The first one was normal and confirmed the pregnancy. Two days later, my beta HCG had more than quadrupled! The previous month it had barely doubled like it was supposed to. Another two days went by and my levels tripled. Of course I went home and started googling what this could mean. A lot of what i found said it could indicate twins but, there was no way we would have twins, right?!

A couple weeks went by and I had my first ultrasound. The technician started the exam and said “okay, here’s one baby, and here’s another”. I was shocked. I was just so overwhelmed with emotion, I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. I did however, avoid eye contact with Ryan. I had been joking with him since the blood tests that we were going to have twins. And now, it was our reality.

When the exam was over, and Ryan picked his jaw up off the floor, we met with my doctor. After receiving the “congratulations” she then told us it was time to get a mini van. I’m only 25, no way I’m going to start driving a mini van 🤦🏽‍♀️

Another ultrasound appointment was made for two weeks later. The ultrasound still showed that there were two babies in me and although I was not quite 7 weeks along, they had strong heartbeats and were healthy.

After my dad passed away, I was told over and over again that “everything happens for a reason” and I hated it. What reason was the for my sisters and I to finish growing up without a dad? It didn’t make sense to me. As I’ve gotten older, I’m beginning to understand it more. I believe that the first pregnancy test was positive so that we could tell Kim that she was going to be a grandma before she passed away. It just turned out that it wasn’t our time.

Although I’m not much of a believer in God, I do believe that each of our girls was hand picked by their grandparents in heaven.